Little Mr. / Ms. Demanding
Words by Katherine Castillo Eustaquio
Published in Total Fitness Magazine March 2013 Issue
At the start of every relationship, you find yourselves tangled more emotionally than physically. Due to what they call the “honeymoon” stage, couples rarely realize how consumed they are with each other until after the rose-colored glasses and the bubble wrap start to fade/pop.
Likewise, at the start of every relationship, every whim and request often end up sounding sweeter than it is annoying. Men, especially, seem blissfully unaware of the demands thrown to their side of the court. While the women, functioning under the pretense of you-must-prove-yourself-to-me (sometimes referred to as “Empress State of Mind”), are also oblivious to the budding resentment they might encounter in the not so distant future.
Unless you are a pushover, you should have an inkling who is being treated as the doormat in your so-called relationship. While it is important to prove yourself and ask your partner to give you a proof of their love every now and then, here are the negative effects of too many demands in a relationship.
Isolation
If you keep turning down girls’ night out plans with your friends because your boyfriend doesn’t like the idea of you drinking at a bar, don’t be surprised if you no longer received invites to social gatherings. Likewise, if you keep your boyfriend from hanging out with the boys, don’t expect his friends to be warm and welcoming the next time you see them.
Two Bodies, One Head
There is nothing more irritating than hanging out with a couple who thinks like one because there is, really, just one brain doing the thinking. If you allow yourself to be blind, deaf, and mute because your partner couldn’t / wouldn’t shut up during the group conversation, you’d rather just sit at home, eat ice cream, watch How I Met Your Mother, and laugh your head out.
Lack of Respect
If you allow youR partner to think, speak, and decide for both you two, you are not just downgrading yourself to a wallflower but you are slowly burning the respect he/she had for you at the start of the relationship. In our society, despite the debates, men are still expected to step up and lead the women. But that doesn’t mean we have to be mute and deaf to our own needs and rights. Show that you ca stand on your own two feet and the world will rest at your feet.
Budding Resentment
If a person truly loves you, he/she will try everything to meet your standards. However, too high a standard can lead to resentment rather than personal improvement. Women often push their men to rise up and be the best version of themselves. Unfortunately, men have a harder time seeing this as a chance for development. For most, these are silly demands that can lead to resentment. That’s why couples need to understand their relationship dynamics. We may come from different planets (according to one popular book), but we revolve in the same solar system. As science would have it, there really is a point where both sexes understand each other.
SIDEBAR STORY
FOR WOMEN: Are you a demanding girlfriend?
Check out if you’re slowing paving the way to relationship mayhem.
1. You’re at a party and you a cute girl making the move on your guy. How do you react?
a. Walk like a madwoman and hiss “What is this?!”
b. Walk to the bar, order another vodka martini and stare at them.
c. Sashay sexily next to him, kiss his cheek and introduce yourself as The Girlfriend.
2. It’s your 3rd year anniversary. You asked for red balloons five months ago and on your special day, he forgot about it.
a. Give him a mouthful and then break up with him.
b. Say it is okay but act super cold for two whole weeks.
c. Tell him that you are hurt and ignore him for the rest of the day.
3. You want your boyfriend to pick you up at the bar after a drinking party with friends. He explained that he couldn’t leave yet and suggested hitch a ride with a friend who lives near your place.
a. Drink and dial.
b. Insist that you will wait for him. This time you won’t let his work get in the way.
c. Be practical and accept your friend’s offer to drop you home. It’s cheaper.
Mostly A's: Angry Bird. Cool it, girlfriend, and try to learn some finesse. You just cast yourself as the crazy chick in Barney Stinson’s Hot, Crazy Scale. There are more subtle and classier ways on how to stand your ground.
Mostly B's: Cool Cat. Atta girl, you’re obviously giving off a super cool vibe, so cool that even your boyfriend doesn’t get it. Try to be clearer about you want so you won’t give him mixed signals.
Mostly C's: Sassy Girl. Who wouldn’t want to be with you? Surely, you know what’s yours and how to keep him wanting for more.
Published in Total Fitness Magazine March 2013 Issue
At the start of every relationship, you find yourselves tangled more emotionally than physically. Due to what they call the “honeymoon” stage, couples rarely realize how consumed they are with each other until after the rose-colored glasses and the bubble wrap start to fade/pop.
Likewise, at the start of every relationship, every whim and request often end up sounding sweeter than it is annoying. Men, especially, seem blissfully unaware of the demands thrown to their side of the court. While the women, functioning under the pretense of you-must-prove-yourself-to-me (sometimes referred to as “Empress State of Mind”), are also oblivious to the budding resentment they might encounter in the not so distant future.
Unless you are a pushover, you should have an inkling who is being treated as the doormat in your so-called relationship. While it is important to prove yourself and ask your partner to give you a proof of their love every now and then, here are the negative effects of too many demands in a relationship.
Isolation
If you keep turning down girls’ night out plans with your friends because your boyfriend doesn’t like the idea of you drinking at a bar, don’t be surprised if you no longer received invites to social gatherings. Likewise, if you keep your boyfriend from hanging out with the boys, don’t expect his friends to be warm and welcoming the next time you see them.
Two Bodies, One Head
There is nothing more irritating than hanging out with a couple who thinks like one because there is, really, just one brain doing the thinking. If you allow yourself to be blind, deaf, and mute because your partner couldn’t / wouldn’t shut up during the group conversation, you’d rather just sit at home, eat ice cream, watch How I Met Your Mother, and laugh your head out.
Lack of Respect
If you allow youR partner to think, speak, and decide for both you two, you are not just downgrading yourself to a wallflower but you are slowly burning the respect he/she had for you at the start of the relationship. In our society, despite the debates, men are still expected to step up and lead the women. But that doesn’t mean we have to be mute and deaf to our own needs and rights. Show that you ca stand on your own two feet and the world will rest at your feet.
Budding Resentment
If a person truly loves you, he/she will try everything to meet your standards. However, too high a standard can lead to resentment rather than personal improvement. Women often push their men to rise up and be the best version of themselves. Unfortunately, men have a harder time seeing this as a chance for development. For most, these are silly demands that can lead to resentment. That’s why couples need to understand their relationship dynamics. We may come from different planets (according to one popular book), but we revolve in the same solar system. As science would have it, there really is a point where both sexes understand each other.
SIDEBAR STORY
FOR WOMEN: Are you a demanding girlfriend?
Check out if you’re slowing paving the way to relationship mayhem.
1. You’re at a party and you a cute girl making the move on your guy. How do you react?
a. Walk like a madwoman and hiss “What is this?!”
b. Walk to the bar, order another vodka martini and stare at them.
c. Sashay sexily next to him, kiss his cheek and introduce yourself as The Girlfriend.
2. It’s your 3rd year anniversary. You asked for red balloons five months ago and on your special day, he forgot about it.
a. Give him a mouthful and then break up with him.
b. Say it is okay but act super cold for two whole weeks.
c. Tell him that you are hurt and ignore him for the rest of the day.
3. You want your boyfriend to pick you up at the bar after a drinking party with friends. He explained that he couldn’t leave yet and suggested hitch a ride with a friend who lives near your place.
a. Drink and dial.
b. Insist that you will wait for him. This time you won’t let his work get in the way.
c. Be practical and accept your friend’s offer to drop you home. It’s cheaper.
Mostly A's: Angry Bird. Cool it, girlfriend, and try to learn some finesse. You just cast yourself as the crazy chick in Barney Stinson’s Hot, Crazy Scale. There are more subtle and classier ways on how to stand your ground.
Mostly B's: Cool Cat. Atta girl, you’re obviously giving off a super cool vibe, so cool that even your boyfriend doesn’t get it. Try to be clearer about you want so you won’t give him mixed signals.
Mostly C's: Sassy Girl. Who wouldn’t want to be with you? Surely, you know what’s yours and how to keep him wanting for more.
