When Relationships Come with Expiration Dates
Words by Katherine Castillo Eustaquio
Published in Total Fitness Magazine Jan-Feb 2013 Issue
Like milk, relationships come in neat packages—fresh and complete with tamper-proof seals. We drink it and it nourishes us from within. However, there are times when we forget and over time, they rot and before we know it, they are unfit for consumption. So what happened? Is it because we left them open in a frigid environment?
Like many things, relationships come with best before seals. Some are easy to spot, like flashing neon signs on one’s forehead. Some are expertly hidden and can simply blow up in your face one day. While the reasons for a relationship’s demise vary from one couple to another, here are the most common reason why relationships fail.
Stagnant Emotional Baggage
Entering into a new relationship is like settling into your new apartment. You find yourself with a lot of boxes containing things from your old life. Sometimes you find certain things that you should have thrown months ago, like bad eggs for instance. But you packed it anyway because you didn’t have time to check and realize that it has been rotting for a while now. Emotional baggage from an old relationship has the effect like bad eggs. They smell really, really bad and your new partner can something smell it as soon as there’s a little crack. Don’t forget to throw them away.
Rom-Com Expectations
Women are biologically wired to have fairy tale expectations. These days, we call them “Rom-Com” (romantic comedy) Expectations. While it is fairly healthy to expect the world from someone else (after all, this helps us ensure our partners bring their A game), it’s wrong to impose perfection on someone. Despite the fact that some partners find it challenging, a majority still feel little seeds of resentment that can turn bad over time.
The Reacher and the Settler
In every relationship, there is a “reacher” (a person who reaches beyond his level) and a “settler” (a person who settles below his standards). While love enables us to turn a blind eye on certain shortcomings, when a person starts to feel that he is getting way less than he deserves, he will start looking for it somewhere else.
Not on the Same Page
When a person’s maturity level is higher than his person, it is often seen as a flaw rather than a natural occurrence. Emotional maturity is something that you cannot fake or force. Most relationships come to an end because the parties are not on the same page.
Deception
Honesty and trust are the main foundations of a lasting relationship. When these two are broken, it is often hard to recover. When a party is constantly lying, the chances survival grows fairly thin.
Knowing your Place
Many women are making their marks in their careers, and sometimes, this success can be too intimidating for most men. After all, despite the equal sex rights we enjoy these days, we still live in a world where men are expected to bring home the tastier, bigger, and heavier bacon for their families. While you should never be ashamed of your success, you should never forget how to be a woman in a man’s world. As a wife, you should learn how to support your husband and let him be the bigger person. As a husband, you should never forget how to hold your wife’s hand and lead the way. Until you wake up one day as the opposite sex, this is just the way things are.
Imposed Intimacy
Despite the liberal way of thinking nowadays, women still think of physical intimacy as part of their ticket to happily ever after. Having done the deed with a person often disillusions women to couple bliss, thinking that his nails the person down as their significant other. However, it doesn’t always work that way.
Searing Emotional Pain
Truth is, no matter how many times you preach about unconditional love, unless you are someone else’s parent when you hurt people constantly, they begin to love you a little less.
Fork Roads
Sometimes, people just grow in separate directions. We are responsible and entitled to our own happiness and if we are sure we will not find in at the end of Road #1, we owe it to ourselves to travel alone along Road Road 2.
The Tragic Death of Romance
At the start of every relationship, both parties tend to outdo each other with romantic nothings—candlelight dinners, good wine, great sex, expensive chocolates, you name it. But as you grow fonder and more comfortable with each other, the “I love you so much, honey” can turn into “love you” before going to the bathroom to pee with the door wide open. Romance is like a crazy, jealous lover who needs constant attention. Work it.
Published in Total Fitness Magazine Jan-Feb 2013 Issue
Like milk, relationships come in neat packages—fresh and complete with tamper-proof seals. We drink it and it nourishes us from within. However, there are times when we forget and over time, they rot and before we know it, they are unfit for consumption. So what happened? Is it because we left them open in a frigid environment?
Like many things, relationships come with best before seals. Some are easy to spot, like flashing neon signs on one’s forehead. Some are expertly hidden and can simply blow up in your face one day. While the reasons for a relationship’s demise vary from one couple to another, here are the most common reason why relationships fail.
Stagnant Emotional Baggage
Entering into a new relationship is like settling into your new apartment. You find yourself with a lot of boxes containing things from your old life. Sometimes you find certain things that you should have thrown months ago, like bad eggs for instance. But you packed it anyway because you didn’t have time to check and realize that it has been rotting for a while now. Emotional baggage from an old relationship has the effect like bad eggs. They smell really, really bad and your new partner can something smell it as soon as there’s a little crack. Don’t forget to throw them away.
Rom-Com Expectations
Women are biologically wired to have fairy tale expectations. These days, we call them “Rom-Com” (romantic comedy) Expectations. While it is fairly healthy to expect the world from someone else (after all, this helps us ensure our partners bring their A game), it’s wrong to impose perfection on someone. Despite the fact that some partners find it challenging, a majority still feel little seeds of resentment that can turn bad over time.
The Reacher and the Settler
In every relationship, there is a “reacher” (a person who reaches beyond his level) and a “settler” (a person who settles below his standards). While love enables us to turn a blind eye on certain shortcomings, when a person starts to feel that he is getting way less than he deserves, he will start looking for it somewhere else.
Not on the Same Page
When a person’s maturity level is higher than his person, it is often seen as a flaw rather than a natural occurrence. Emotional maturity is something that you cannot fake or force. Most relationships come to an end because the parties are not on the same page.
Deception
Honesty and trust are the main foundations of a lasting relationship. When these two are broken, it is often hard to recover. When a party is constantly lying, the chances survival grows fairly thin.
Knowing your Place
Many women are making their marks in their careers, and sometimes, this success can be too intimidating for most men. After all, despite the equal sex rights we enjoy these days, we still live in a world where men are expected to bring home the tastier, bigger, and heavier bacon for their families. While you should never be ashamed of your success, you should never forget how to be a woman in a man’s world. As a wife, you should learn how to support your husband and let him be the bigger person. As a husband, you should never forget how to hold your wife’s hand and lead the way. Until you wake up one day as the opposite sex, this is just the way things are.
Imposed Intimacy
Despite the liberal way of thinking nowadays, women still think of physical intimacy as part of their ticket to happily ever after. Having done the deed with a person often disillusions women to couple bliss, thinking that his nails the person down as their significant other. However, it doesn’t always work that way.
Searing Emotional Pain
Truth is, no matter how many times you preach about unconditional love, unless you are someone else’s parent when you hurt people constantly, they begin to love you a little less.
Fork Roads
Sometimes, people just grow in separate directions. We are responsible and entitled to our own happiness and if we are sure we will not find in at the end of Road #1, we owe it to ourselves to travel alone along Road Road 2.
The Tragic Death of Romance
At the start of every relationship, both parties tend to outdo each other with romantic nothings—candlelight dinners, good wine, great sex, expensive chocolates, you name it. But as you grow fonder and more comfortable with each other, the “I love you so much, honey” can turn into “love you” before going to the bathroom to pee with the door wide open. Romance is like a crazy, jealous lover who needs constant attention. Work it.
